Fred Wemyss

"Right, then, Fred, we're going to see Mister Klipper today."

"What's he?"

"He's a sharp gent, you might say, as is Mrs. Klipper."

Lucy looked at her husband. "I shouldn't think Mrs. Klipper's a gent, sharp or not."

Sissy said, "Are you taking him to get his hair cut, Daddy?"

"What if I don't want my hair cut?" said Fred.

"Well, that's where Mister and Mrs. Klipper come in. The Klippers is a sharp pair, they is." Turning to his other sons, Mr. Cogwheel said, "And you lot, too. Come on."

Russell, the oldest, said, "But, Daddy, I ain't got anything saved."

"Then you won't object to my paying," said Mr. Cogwheel.

Russell said, "It's right short."

"Never short enough, lad. No guff, boys."

"Daddy, can we go on the Eye?" Kent was already putting on his coat.

Mrs. Cogwheel said, "Your father says no guff."

"That's not guff."

"You'll be an hour and a half at the barber with your hair such a mess."

"But we never go out for fun."

"You never go out for a haircut, either."

"Tommy Mapham gets his hair cut at home."

"Tommy Mapham's mother can't afford to pay for his haircuts."

"Yes, she can."

"Well, we can't afford to take you on holiday every time we go outside."