Fred Wemyss

There were two carved derrieres on the wall. They must have been plastic, actually, because plaster would have been too heavy and they'd have fallen and shattered. In any case, one was on the left and the other was on the right and we were all facing them. A fat bald man with thinning hair stood at a podium in between.
"It's all right," he was saying. "This is the place to dump."
A middle-aged woman in the corner cracked, "Just be sure you wipe after."
Eruptions of laughter followed.
"Thank you," said a tearful young college man who'd been describing his irregularities. He was standing.
The man at the podium said easily, "Sit down. You can if you can."
Everybody said at once: "You can if you can!"
There was applause when the young man seated himself.
"These twelve sheets," said the gentleman at the podium, pointing to the stream of paper descending from the right-hand butt, "Are the ten commandments of absorbency." He pointed to his right, at the scroll streaming from the left-hand butt. "It's a two-ply program!" he said.
There was a pause and then a smattering of grunts. "Ah," said the man, "You had your hand up."
"Who, me," said a truck driver.
"Who else, asshole?" said a businessman.
"Oh, I'm such an asshole," said the truck driver. "Such an asshole. Today I was sitting, stuck in --"
"Who are you?" said a malnourished blonde.
"Yeah, I'm Joe and I'm an asshole."
"Hi, Joe!" everybody said.
"I've been circling Uranus in search of Klingons."
Everybody poured forth mirth at this.
"So, so, I was sitting in traffic, stuck."
"Stuck," someone said.
"Stuck, going around in circles."
The lady in the corner cracked "Can't wipe if you don't dump."
The leader interrupted. "God sets up his rotaries whether we like it or n
"But I was going around and around! But I'm not blaming anyone. I opted to drive
[Folks, the above was something I was writing the other day. I don't make drafts, I simply write in the space Livejournal.com provides (I've swiped this from my other blog) and then post, but while I was in the middle of writing the entry I hit some sombination of keys which appeared to erase everything. So, I thought I'd lost what you've read. Certainly, I have lost the desire to finish it, but, indeed, the above was all of what I thought had been lost the other day...Fred Wemyss. 02/14/2007.]