Sunday, March 04, 2007
The Library Police: Book Him!
Today I was ringing up a patron. Having just come out of 17 years in retail, my commercial terminology is mixing with Civil Service terminology. I don't use the word "customers" when referring to "patrons," but "ringing up" is still the only phrase I can think of to describe checking out books to patrons. Oh! "Checking out!" Okay:
Today I was checking out books to a patron. He was about fifty-five and had a girl about seven with him. He had a bunch of children's books, and, as he approached the desk, he was waving his library card. "The library police! The library police," he said. He looked at me.
I gave him the smile that says, "May I check out your books?"
"Hope the Library Police don't lock us up!" he said.
His daughter picked her nose.
"Returning or checking out?" I said, smiling the smile that says, "I'm unflappable."
"I'd better pay that fine or the library's going to come after me! I've been summoned by the Library Police!"
"Well," I said, "Let's see what kind of fine you've got. May I see your card?"
"Oh, I have my card! I need my card for the Library Police!"
The daughter stood, looking at him the way she will when she wants to borrow the car fifteen years from now.
I scanned his library card.
"You owe fifty cents."
"Oh, boy, I'm glad I came in and confessed. I was afraid you might lock me up."
"It wouldn't be my policy," I said.
I took his fifty cents and printed up a receipt. "So, you're taking these out?" I said.
"If I can get out of this jail I will," he said.
I checked his books out.
"Thanks," he said. "You ready, Pumpkin?" he said.
"You have some books on hold," I said.
"On hold? How come I wasn't summoned to pick them up?"
I didn't answer. Taking his books from the hold shelf I put them on the desk."
"Oh," said the man, "Guess I'd better return these on time!"
I rang him up before time could elapse.
I mean, checked out his books.
Before I had to spend another second with him.
"Say goodbye to the Library Police, Pumpkin."
The child maintained a stony silence. Prisoners are like that.
Today I was checking out books to a patron. He was about fifty-five and had a girl about seven with him. He had a bunch of children's books, and, as he approached the desk, he was waving his library card. "The library police! The library police," he said. He looked at me.
I gave him the smile that says, "May I check out your books?"
"Hope the Library Police don't lock us up!" he said.
His daughter picked her nose.
"Returning or checking out?" I said, smiling the smile that says, "I'm unflappable."
"I'd better pay that fine or the library's going to come after me! I've been summoned by the Library Police!"
"Well," I said, "Let's see what kind of fine you've got. May I see your card?"
"Oh, I have my card! I need my card for the Library Police!"
The daughter stood, looking at him the way she will when she wants to borrow the car fifteen years from now.
I scanned his library card.
"You owe fifty cents."
"Oh, boy, I'm glad I came in and confessed. I was afraid you might lock me up."
"It wouldn't be my policy," I said.
I took his fifty cents and printed up a receipt. "So, you're taking these out?" I said.
"If I can get out of this jail I will," he said.
I checked his books out.
"Thanks," he said. "You ready, Pumpkin?" he said.
"You have some books on hold," I said.
"On hold? How come I wasn't summoned to pick them up?"
I didn't answer. Taking his books from the hold shelf I put them on the desk."
"Oh," said the man, "Guess I'd better return these on time!"
I rang him up before time could elapse.
I mean, checked out his books.
Before I had to spend another second with him.
"Say goodbye to the Library Police, Pumpkin."
The child maintained a stony silence. Prisoners are like that.
# posted by Fredwemyss @ 12:00 AM 
